Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
