So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
