hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
this is an emotional support booty call
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
