I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
my liver is dry heaving
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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