Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
