I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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