That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
well you can't waste a boner
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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