This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
