She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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