Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
