im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I have demons in me.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
