thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
