I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
