oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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