all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
