You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I wish you could order shots online.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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