I wanna passion pit in your ass
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
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He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
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I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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