David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Welp...herpes.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
