I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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