I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You are a genius and a whore.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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