Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
