Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Randomize
