I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Drake has all the answers
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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