you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
