She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
