no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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