There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
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I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
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Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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