please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
