Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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