Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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