the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
