OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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