I think I am morally bankrupt
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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