mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We had to coat check the pizza.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
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