whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
