Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He? As in you personified your dick?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
