Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
