She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize