she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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