That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
