i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Who died my cat blue again?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
