If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
