Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
