And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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