benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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