i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
