it hurts more in the daytime
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
