i jhust puked up my retainher.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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