I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
