It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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