Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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