Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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