rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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