he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
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we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
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That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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