remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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