i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize