I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
