party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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