Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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