HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
