Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
