and you said cock pushups were impossible
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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